Chapter Four: Solemn Promises

"Mic's on in three...two...one," Jim the technical operator said as the last radio advertisement finished playing.

The 'microphone on' light on the wall behind the operator's panel lit up and Chance said in his radio voice, "Welcome back, we've come to the end of tonight's Late Night Session, and I'm sad to say that I must leave you all again. But don't worry because tomorrow night I'll be back to talk about addictions and what we can do about them. Tune in every weeknight at ten o'clock. This is Dr. Day signing out for now and remember, life is a journey - live it."

The outro music played and Jim cued up more advertisements. Chance removed his headphones and glanced at the computer monitor, which relayed messages from the reception desk. The words 'Another great job Dr. Day' was displayed in large font across the screen. He looked through the large glass panels separating the live studio from the front reception and gave Jessica a thumbs up. She gave him a beaming smile.

"Excellent work again Jim," Chance complimented his work mate as they stepped out of the room to allow the next program presenters in. The hosts of the next show nodded to them as they left and they acknowledged the greeting with a return nod. There wasn't much time to exchange in even a short conversation between programs. Airtime was meticulously planned and every second accounted for. A good radio station knew that.

"Only doing my job, Chance," Jim said.

"And you do it very well," he said, "I'll see you tomorrow night then."

"Sure thing, see ya," Jim said as he left for the back of the station.

Chance was feeling on top of the world, he'd been in a great mood ever since he met Talan. When he came in to work that afternoon the Station Manager had come to see him straight away. He smiled as he recalled their conversation.

"Just the doctor I was looking for," Jeff had said.

"G'day boss, how are you today?" Chance asked.

"Doing very good Chance, and yourself? That bump isn't too serious is it?" Jeff asked in return.

"I'm fine, it was nothing bad, I didn't even have a concussion," he replied.

"Good, good," Jeff said, "Saw you on the news today and I want to tell you what an excellent job you did handling those reporters. You even managed to get a plug in for the show, I'm really happy you even thought to put a word in about that."

"Thank you," he said glowing with the praise.

"Your show has seen a phenomenal rise in listeners since the very beginning and pretty quickly overtook our highest ranking programs to become the most listened to show in this radio's history."

"Wow, I didn't know that," Chance said feeling humbled.

"Yes, and your listener base keeps growing everyday, advertisers are clamouring to have their ads aired during your show and I've had to raise the charges to allow only those who can afford it to do so, and let me tell you there's no shortage of those. That's why I think it is only fair to give you a thirty percent pay rise."

Chance was stunned, "Gee, I don't know what else to say but . . . thanks."

"Just keep up the good work," Jeff had said, "You're our most valuable asset now and we don't want to lose you."

"Thanks boss, you can count on me," Chance had said in elation.

"I know I can," his boss had said confidently.

He was already being paid a lot of money and thirty percent extra on top of what he was making was a staggering amount. He earned more than he needed, he thought about making regular donations to a charitable cause and perhaps making some investments for the sake of his mother's future in case she needed special care. Chance smiled as his awareness returned to the present. At the front reception, Jessica was finished with her duties and ready to leave. She wore a cream miniskirt and tight corporate shirt that was unbuttoned almost halfway to reveal her cleavage as usual. He never looked at her below the head, he knew that the moment he ever did, she would think she had a chance with him and become more aggressive in her pursuit of him. That didn't stop her from eyeing him like he was juicy piece of cooked meat ready to be devoured. Wow, she really would devour him, literally too. He grimaced, but quickly wiped the expression from his face. He wasn't prepared to explain why he'd just looked like someone had vomited right in front of him.

"You have a visitor Dr. Day," Jessica said, rolling out the word 'visitor' as if it was a detestable word, "He's in the waiting room out front."

Chance was about to raise an eyebrow but stopped himself in time, instead he asked, "Who is it?"

"It's that man from last night," Jessica answered pronouncing 'man' just as detestably but also using the word in a way that wasn't adequate a description of who she was referring to.

"Oh, Talan," he said happily, "I'll go see him now."

Jessica followed him to the waiting room, which led to the entrance of the station. As Chance walked through the door, Talan noticed him and rose from the couch he'd been occupying. The sight of Talan still managed to take his breath away and his knees threatened to go weak on him.

Chance held his hand out to shake and said, "Talan, it's good to see you again, what brings you here tonight?"

"I was actually on my way back to my apartment from my parents and I wanted to hear your show but I wouldn't have made it in time so I came here hoping the station would broadcast in it's waiting room, and it is," Talan said motioning to the speakers built into the roof which was airing the station's current program.

"Good thinking, but you I can always get you a recorded copy of any of my aired shows if you really like it," Chance told him.

"You can?" Talan said surprised, "Oh, but I think I prefer hearing you live."

"I won't hold it against you if you don't listen to my show, you're not obliged to," he said.

Talan looked abashed as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the ground. He was really cute, like a little boy, well, a big boy. He said, "I just thought...I thought that's what a friend should do...you know, support each other's endeavours."

"I'm really flattered, thank you," Chance said slightly embarrassed himself.

"That's okay," Talan said looking at him with those alluring blue eyes, he felt like he could melt from that gaze.

Jessica cleared her throat loudly. He and Talan both turned their heads to look at her. He'd forgotten that she was still there.

"If there isn't anything else you need me to do, I'll be leaving then," she said, with a heavy suggestion that she was waiting to leave with him.

"Okay Jessica, there's still a few things I need to finish with here," Chance told her, "But I'll see you tomorrow."

Jessica was disappointed, she said a bit sulkily, "Okay Dr. Day, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"You put up with her really well," Talan said after she left.

"She has her moments," he said, "But anyway, would you like a tour of the station?"

"That would be nice," Talan said.

"Come on then," Chance said and led Talan into the station. "I'll have to give you a visitor's badge to wear though, for security reasons, there are camera's everywhere, except in the offices."

"That's fine, it'll be fun," Talan said.

Chance unlocked a cabinet with a key he kept on his key ring and scrounged around for a box with the badges in them. After he found it, he grabbed one and returned the cabinet to its locked state. Talan didn't have any pockets on his riding jacket so Chance pinned it along the zipper at his chest level. Chance's hands lingered there for a few seconds longer than he should have, but knowing that his hands were so close to Talan's muscular chest gave him a pleasant sensation so he pretended to make sure it was firmly set to mask the fact he was taking a bit too long. Chance looked up at Talan when he was done and the other man smiled at him. Talan was so handsome he wanted to reach his hand out and caress that exquisite face.

Smiling back he said, "Okay, let's start the tour."

He gave Talan a comprehensive tour of Radio Station KPS FM, from the digital studios to the off air studios, from the music library to the media room, until finally they made their last stop at his office. He invited Talan in and continued to talk while he filed some papers away.

"This is probably the best job in the world," he said as he finished, "Okay, well, apart from being a T.V. presenter for a holiday show, they get to travel all around the world."

"Your job is much more important than that," Talan disagreed, "I seriously doubt they're helping as many people as you do."

"I know, I wouldn't trade jobs with them for any reason," he said, "Helping others is one of the things I like about my work here."

"And it's one of the virtues I find honourable about you Chance," Talan said sincerely.

"I do my best, but my job pays me too well, which doesn't make it a great virtue," he said, "But you on the other hand, do entirely legal aid work, even though the pay isn't too good, which leads me to believe that you're giving a lot more of yourself than you need to."

Talan looked away embarrassed by the compliment. It was adorable how he could give a compliment yet not receive one so well. He said, "I just want to help people who aren't as fortunate as we are, we take so many things for granted that it's easy to forget there are so many people who don't have it as easy."

Chance wanted to run up to Talan and hug the man, but instead he went and stood in front of him. Talan gave him a lopsided grin that sent a hot surge throughout his body. Something told Chance that while the goodness in this man would never wane, his charity was something that had probably gone unacknowledged for a long time. The quiet strength in this beautiful man, forever enduring and steadfast almost brought tears to his eyes. Talan was as beautiful on the inside, heart and soul, as he was in appearance. It wasn't his intention to be discernibly flirtatious or to give the impression that he was making sexual advances as he raised his right hand and placed it against Talan's heart. He was making a connection, and wanted Talan to know he was being open and candid.

Chance said, "You are the most genuine, honest, and decent person I have ever met and ever will meet. Your kindness has no limits and you should know that there are too few people in this world like yourself. Even though I've only known you a day, I can say that I am truly thankful to be your friend, and even more honoured to know you."

Conflicting emotions seemed to cross Talan's face, from embarrassment to joy and contentment. Strangely, for reason's Chance couldn't fathom, the most prominent emotion he saw displayed across that handsome face was guilt. Chance could feel Talan's heart beating faster underneath his hand, even through the thick layer of the black leather. If he kept this up any longer it was going to get awkward so he dropped his hand back to his side and gave Talan a reassuring smile.

"That's what I think anyway," and cheekily he said, "But you don't have to take my word for it."

Talan laughed and Chance felt gratified at the melodious sound. They had only known each other for a day, but he felt he knew Talan for much longer than that. He felt at ease around the other man, felt like there was nothing he couldn't say or that there was any secret he could withhold. Not that he wanted to keep any secrets from Talan, his life was a simple one and he didn't have any strange quirks or weird obsessions he felt he needed to hide. There was something else there too. Something much harder to put his finger on, it was a feeling that seemed to grow the longer he was in Talan's presence. That feeling caused a pleasurable warmth to envelope him from head to toe. The same feeling made him want to be around Talan; spend as much time with him as Chance could. He knew that if Talan left now, he would be considerably disappointed. Perhaps he was becoming addicted to the company of his new friend. That may be something he could bring up on the show tomorrow night - addictions to people. The alternative was much more frightening than he could bring himself to admit. It just wasn't possible. Not possible at all. He couldn't be in love with Talan; he didn't have a chance in hell. Talan was straight and taken. To feel this deeply would jeopardise their friendship, and their friendship was something he was not willing to lose after only having it for such a short time. Nevertheless, some things can't be helped, and emotions were one of those things. Which was why he decided to take the dive and tell Talan about his sexuality. Talan needed to know and perhaps in telling him, Chance could in his own strange and logical way liberate himself from the intense feelings he had for Talan.

"There's something I need to tell you," he said, his tone was serious now, and a bit dejected because he was dreading what may possibly happen from what he was about to disclose, "When you know this I will totally understand if you don't want to be friends anymore, but...I'm gay. Well, bisexual, but mostly gay."

Talan didn't say anything. He looked like he was pondering on what he'd just heard. That was it then. Chance was prepared to accept that Talan might not take news of his sexuality too well. He turned away. His heart was sinking at the sudden awkward silence between them where before they had chattered away with abandon. He wasn't going to cry but he was on the verge of tears.

He said with much more of a steady voice than he thought he could muster, "Look, if you want to leave you can, you know the way out from here, just leave the visitor's badge on the desk at reception."

Chance waited for the sound of the door opening and closing. Yet it didn't come. Instead he felt a firm hand grasp his shoulder and gently squeeze it. He turned around.

Talan's stare bore into his soul, kindness radiated from him and his words, he said, "Chance, How can you think I would react negatively to what you've said after telling me how kind and decent I am. If you could say that about me, then you can assume I wouldn't care less whether you were gay, straight or liked to dress in women's clothes."

Chance laughed at that but he still felt a bit ashamed that he made such presumptions about Talan's reaction.

Talan continued, "Though I wouldn't have guessed, you didn't have to tell me because it's no one's business who our sexual preferences are. But I feel really privileged that you decided to tell me. I couldn't think any less of you."

"Sorry Talan, I wasn't thinking properly, I guess I just start to think the worst when I decide to tell people," Chance said.

"Has anyone ever reacted badly and refused to be friends with you after you've told them?" asked Talan.

"No," he said.

"There you go, you shouldn't think that I could be any different," Talan told him.

"I think it's a habit for me, having studied psychology and people I think I know all too well how two-faced some people can be," he said, "You'll be surprised the number of people who have told me they're cool with me being gay and don't really care and then behind my back they'll degrade me like the true homophobes they are."

"Though did you really care what those people honestly thought about you?" Talan questioned.

"Not really," Chance said giving it an honest thought, "It's not like they were real friends or anything like that. But to tell you the truth, I did care about what you would think - I didn't want to lose your friendship."

"You will never lose my friendship, maybe eventually we'll end up in different places, but I swear, and I mean this because I have never sworn it to anyone, that you will never lose my friendship, no matter what happens," Talan swore solemnly.

Now Chance really felt like crying. Talan was too much for him as he struggled with his feelings. How could anyone be this genuine? Damnit, his feelings were still as strong as ever, maybe even stronger. He was really falling for this guy. Unrequited love was a great big pain in the ass. Was he really admitting he was in love? He pushed it all to the back of his mind, he'd be damned if he was going to ruin this friendship.

"Thanks Talan, you're a good person," he said, "I'm going to have to introduce you to all my friends, they'll like you and you'll get along well with all of them."

"I'm sure I'll like them too," Talan said.

"Hah! I wouldn't say that too soon," Chance said, thinking about his flatmate Jon, "You might think differently once you meet them! But nah, they're all good people, even though some may be a bit verbal."

Talan raised his eyebrow in confusion. His expression was priceless, and very cute. Once again Chance felt a surge of heat travel through his body. He had to stop thinking of Talan in such a sexual way. He glanced at the clock on his desk and noticed that a couple of hours had passed since his radio program had finished.

"Oh no," he said a bit dismayed.

"What is it?" Talan asked concerned.

"My last train left almost an hour ago," he said, but he wasn't too worried he sometimes stayed back in his office on occasion, "I'll just catch a taxi, that's what I usually do if I stay here a bit later."

"It's all my fault, I kept you back longer than you needed to," Talan apologised.

"No, not at all, don't say that, I had a lot fun talking to you," Chance said.

"Then let me give you a lift home," offered Talan.

"What? On your motorbike?" Chance asked.

"Yeah," Talan answered, "I always keep a spare helmet."

He shrugged then said rhetorically, "Okay, why not?"

Outside the air was warm and humid from the summer weather. A cool breeze blew occasionally offering a slight reprieve when it did.

Talan fetched a spare helmet stowed away in a compartment behind the seat and proceeded to fit it onto Chance's head. He could feel the warmth that radiated from the closeness of those hands near his face. It felt good but he tried not to look like he was getting off on it. He wasn't going to give away his feelings for Talan. He wanted to get rid of those feelings, if it was at all possible.

"There, perfect fit," Talan exclaimed when he finished.

"I don't look like a dork do I?" he asked.

Talan laughed, but when Chance didn't laugh along with him he said, "Oh, you're serious? No you don't. Now come on, are you a man or what?"

Talan slipped his helmet on, as he did Chance muttered, "Last time I checked I was."

"What was that?" Talan asked while busily fixing the straps.

"Nothing," he said putting on the biggest grin he could, "You'll probably need to know where I live."

After he gave the directions he waited for Talan to get on the bike and start the engine. Once that was done Talan motioned for him to hop on. He did so and Talan showed him where to place his feet before grabbing Chances hands and wrapping them around his waist. It took Chance a lot of effort not to become aroused but he managed to think of the most disgusting thoughts to tame himself and avert an embarrassing situation.

Talan turned his head around to look back at Chance and shouted over the noise of the bike's engine, "Hold on tight."

He planned to. Talan motioned for him to put his visor down. He did so and Talan did the same. Then they were off, the initial burst of speed made him feel like he was on an amusement ride. He felt the gravity-force in his stomach but then eventually he became used to it and he began to concentrate on the firm muscles underneath his arms. Whoops, big mistake. He bit his bottom lip hard enough to feel the pain but not hard enough to break the skin and draw blood and had to think of something gross again. Which wasn't very hard considering some of the things his flatmate liked to do to get a laugh out of people. He hoped Talan didn't notice. While he wouldn't complain if another guy pressed a boner against his back, he sure wasn't going to assume Talan liked it. Luckily it didn't seem like Talan had noticed.

Holding Talan in his arms on the motorbike felt like he was flying through the sky when he closed his eyes. During those moments he imagined they were soaring through the starry sky. It wasn't long before Talan arrived in front of his house and stopped in the driveway.

The sudden quiet when the engine was turned off seemed strange after getting used to the noise. When he jumped off the bike it took a moment to get his balance back. His whole body was tingling and it really did feel like he'd just been on a roller coaster ride.

He took the helmet off and passed it to Talan saying, "Whoa, that was awesome."

Talan smiled, he asked, "You've never rode on a motorbike before?"

"No, that was my first," Chance replied.

"I'll have take you on a trip to the country then," Talan said, "Maybe even teach you to ride by yourself."

Chance felt happy that Talan wanted to spend more time with him and relieved that the other man didn't notice his indiscretion on the bike earlier. If he did he wouldn't want Chance riding on the same bike with him again. Wouldn't he?

"That would be excellent, I'll look forward to it," he said, and then asked, "Do you want to come in for a drink of something?"

"No that's okay thanks," Talan declined politely, "I should get back home, I've got work tomorrow."

"Sure, I understand," Chance said, "Call me sometime and we'll do something."

"I will. Bye," Talan said and got onto his bike, started it, reversed it, and sped away with a wave. Chance waved back.

Jon's car wasn't in the carport so he hadn't come home yet. He was probably at his girlfriend's house; he sometimes stayed there after work. Chance checked the mailbox because no one had been home yet to check it. As he grabbed the small pile of letters he felt the strange sensation of being watched for the second time. A small envelope fell to the ground when he took the letters out. He picked it up and decided to see what was in it first. Under the automatic driveway lights he opened the letter and took out a rectangular card. A sentence was typed in the middle that sent chills down his spine before he began to read it.


For the pain you have caused me Dr. Day, you will feel a hundred times more, this I promise you.


His heart raced and pounded heavily in his chest. The feeling of someone watching him intensified and he looked around like a cornered animal, helplessly trying to find escape. Wild eyed, he stuffed the letters in his back pocket and fished the house keys out of his front pockets. At the door he was convinced someone was closing in on him. He panted rapidly, taking in shollow breaths. His hands trembled as he attempted to find the right keys. Keeping them steady as he tried to unlock the security door was almost impossible. He felt like he had no control over them. When the keys threatened to drop from his quivering hands he almost cried out in despair, but he got it open and amazingly managed to get the inner wooden door open even faster.

Inside, he locked the doors immediately and then leaned on them to support his trembling body. His knees buckled and he slid to the floor. Somebody wished him ill, he knew that much. Whether terrible things would happen to him in the near future was something he couldn't predict, and for the first time in his life he was more scared than he ever was of his abusive father when he was a child.